It was that kind of day earlier today. An 'I quit!' kind of day. If I don't get the job with Link staff, then at least I'll still be able to say I understand a little of what it must be like to be regular staff. The hardest part of all of this is when you work so hard and pour out so much and are really hopeful and all of that completely outstrips what actually happens. People don't always care. We don't always want a part of what is being offered. We can run after God or we can do our own thing. And I'll tell you what, it is discouraging.
Here's the part where I find that I must repent.
There's this: "God's love is relentless in its determination that we be cured of our sins at whatever the cost to us or to him." My man C. S. Lewis knew what he was talking about.
And then from Urbana: "Jesus goes relentlessly to my heart." The word here is relentless. It doesn't quit. Part of my problem is that I'm taking it personally. I guess I just have to let it roll off of me--and persist in loving. I don't know whether God takes it personally when people reject him, although I'm sure it makes him sad ("he is not willing that any should perish"), but his love doesn't change. "Whatever the cost." Right?
Lord, I pray that you would help me to love people, whatever the cost to me or to them, and that you would help me love them in your strength, not in my own. Maybe I won't see the other side of any of this, but that's not mine anyway. I trust that you are doing a good work, that you will carry it on to completion. Help me to do that better.