Note: obligatory I AM DONE WITH EXAMS post following.
Hey, guess what, guys? I AM DONE WITH EXAMS!
I could tell you about how glad I am to be done with them. Or I could tell you about this weird bodily ailment I'm having which I noticed while taking said exams. I know lately I've become a bit of a hypochondriac--actually, that's not true, it's more just that I'm interested in and atuned to all the little things going on with my body (which never gets sick [unless I'm trying to skip class, flake that I am]). All this because of ER. (Although, for the record, I'm not all worked up about the Swine Flu.) But I digress. (What's up with me and the parentheses tonight?)
So I was sitting in my Performance of Lit class today waiting to get on stage for my last performance. And let me just say that I am not a performer. Not when people know I'm performing, at least, if that makes sense. I really surprised myself with how uncomfortable I am in front of people I don't know. My hands even shake. I never knew that until I took this class. But anyway, I was waiting to go up and getting more and more nervous, and then I noticed that my fingertips were tingly. Like the way they get when your hand falls asleep.
Well, okay. Most bizarre thing ever. Apparently I was so nervous that my fingertips were falling asleep? I had my arms crossed pretty tightly since I was half panicking and all, so I just figured it was that. Then later when I was walking home from school I felt it again, this time more in the fingers of my left hand and also along the outside of my palm. Now I've also been noticing how much more I lean to the left than I used to, particularly when I walk. I can actually feel it when I walk now, which isn't good at all. I've had problems with my back since I was about fifteen or sixteen and the supposed slight scoliosis (that most people have?) has gotten increasingly worse. To the point where the ribs in my chest/sternum area stick out noticeably more on the right side than the left. So there's rotation and curvature. Unfortunately, I am poor and haven't been able to afford the chiropractor since insurance was paying for it in high school. So I'm thinking I'm pinching a nerve?
Honestly I'm not sure whether that's a relief or not. Of course it's not, but how weird would it be if my fingers fell asleep when I was nervous?
So, more on being done with classes. I've decided to set a goal for myself. A book a week until I leave for Romania. I used to read all the time and then college happened and I never get to anymore, but when I do get around to it I'm a pretty quick reader. But then there's work and hanging out with friends and hopefully writing (not just this stuff but story stuff) and working on the Romanian. I think I'm just trying to decide if a book a week is realistic. On it's own, sure. But then I don't know how much ER is going to get in the way of that. It'll be nice to get back to reading though. I miss it. And I have so many books I want to read--one of my biggest problems with that is I am a re-reader. I think I've read The Kite Runner three times. I keep rereading my favorite books because I love them so much and never get around to reading new ones.
Other random thoughts? I've got a post coming that's been mulling around in my head the last week or so based on something my staffworker said to me about how after people screw up and then redeem themselves in movies and literature, they get killed off or leave. But in real life we have to stick around and face things and deal with them. And some God stuff with all of that. Which hit pretty close to home for me. So just putting up here in the hopes of actually getting it written out.
But really all I'm thinking about now is no homework or exams until August. Don't wish it away, I know. And walking home today I even had a moment where (when?) I was sad thinking about how I wouldn't have any class for a few months (which I very quickly pushed out of my mind--trying to enjoy being done with everything here ;)). I've got another year, and it feels like a big one coming up. But for now I'm just gonna think about now, and let then surprise me when it gets here.