Saturday, January 29, 2011

derek, the photo-shopped camel!

[last summer a friend of mine spent a few months in tunisia and sent me some postcards while he was gone, four in all. two came, out of order a few weeks later, three months another came and another two months later the fourth finally made it. and they are hysterical. also, here's the friend's blog--he doesn't write much on there but he SHOULD. oh, p.s. i'll be adding a picture of the postcards soon.]

Episode 1: Treachery Ahoof

This is the story of Derek, the photo-shopped camel. He's in the back there, with the hump. He is the father-figure of this unassuming camel family. Upon waking one morning, Derek found that his beautiful post-card life had been shattered by the iniquitous acts of marauding camel bandits. (Gasp, egads! Whatever will Derek do within the confines of the next image?)

Episode 2

Fighting with all his camel-might, Derek valiantly stood his ground against the camel bandits, until beaten unconscious with blunt things. The camel bandits then abandoned Derek, because past experience had taught them that dragging an unconscious camel was an impractical affair. Derek woke to find his family gone. Stricken with grief, he ran blindly out into the desert, as camels are wont to do.

Episode 3

Deep in the desert,
With sand in his breeches
Dear, sad ol' Derek
Met Camel Jesus

"Oh, woe is me, Jesus."
Did Derek exclaim
"I'm itchy and lost
Thanks to those men's wretched game."

"Be still, my son
Be not you dismayed.
There lies the sea,
I've shown you the way."

"Oh thank you, Jesus.
Your grace is supreme
But may we please stop adhering
To this dry rhyming scheme?"

"Of course, my son.
Though I find it quite swell
Be thankful you've escaped
That vile villain-elle."

Episode 4

After parting from his encounter with the Camel Christ, Derek continued on his way with a spring in his hoof, pondering the wise, carefully selected words of his Lord. "Oh, villanelle, I see what He did there. Poem joke, classy." Deep in thought, Derek nearly missed the call of his son, Durik, who had conveniently escaped free of harm, because postcards supply little room for story-arc. Also, his wife was left just out of frame for budgeting reasons.


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