Monday, July 13, 2009

nine hours and counting

Well. Right now I feel like I'm about to die. I always say I never get sick and mostly that's true, although if I do get sick it's definitely never in the summer. But I was out with my friend tonight just hanging out before I head out of here and I really felt exhausted. No energy at all. And then I started to notice that my lymph nodes were swollen on both sides (it's usually only on my right side). So I went back to the apartment where I had (have) hours and hours of things to get done waiting for me, but I felt like I could conk out so I got into bed with the intention of lying there and resting, not falling asleep. And then I fell asleep. It was only for about thirty minutes, but when I woke up I had this bad bad headache and the lymph nodes were more swollen and my throat was sore and of course still felt like I had no energy at all. Right, so I feel like death. Just out of nowhere and right before I leave before Romania. And I've still got all those hours worth of stuff to do before I go ahead of me.

Alicia and Hodges, if the apartment is still turned upside down by the time you guys get back, which it will likely be, I am sorry, I promise I will clean it.

Today's been really nice though, apart from suddenly getting hit with whatever this is. It's actually been kind of strange, honestly. Last night we had a goodbye party for me which was amazing, and I've never had anything like it. I've had a few birthday parties, but this beat all of them. I can't tell you how much I love these people, how abundantly blessed I am by their friendship. It's weird because I haven't been nervous at all about Romania but then tonight right before I said goodbye to everyone it just sort of hit me and my pulse was all fluttery and I was a little shaky. And then after that, after about twenty minutes of hugging people (which always makes me very happy!) I walked out and it was quiet on campus and it's funny how suddenly that moment felt like the end of something. Not the end of any friendships or anything like that, but what I mean is that felt exactly the way a movie might, or a book. And if my life were a book, the chapter would end there. I feel silly using that metaphor, but then I feel like I'm experiencing and observing and noting my life all at the same time and those flash moments like that always tend to give it a structure I might not have thought about otherwise.

So on to the next one. I don't want to say next chapter because that just feels kind of cheezy. Maybe it's more like mini-chapters anyway. But on to it, whatever you call it. Nine hours and counting now.

Mental to-do list:

--See if what I've packed fits into my soccer bag so I don't have to lug around giant cheap luggage.
--Do the dishes. Oh dear gracious, do the dishes.
--Write the rent check because that would be a very bad thing to forget to do.
--Clean a ton, but at this point maybe I should be realistic...
--Type up a bunch of names for NSO for next year and email them.
--Lots of organizing little things--mostly this one's just trying not to forget things like grabbing the batteries and separating stuff into little bags.
--Responding to about six messages/e-mails that I haven't yet. If that's you I'm sorry.

I realize this doesn't seem like a lot, and maybe it isn't, but I am no good at all at this kind of thing. It's like, holy crap I have a ton to do and it's just so much and I don't know where to start so I don't and then it's nine hours before I leave and I've barely gotten anything done and I still have to sleep because I've got to be well rested and why the heck am I getting sick and whoa I am overwhelmed so I just want to sleep because I feel like I'm forgetting everything there is, and I know I'll forget something and I can't think about it so breathe.

New plan: wake up at six or so, read this so I remember what needs to get done, work like crazy for a few hours (and shower), and then get the heck out of here.

As far as posting while I'm in Romania, I'm almost certain I won't be able to. If I get a chance to put up something quick saying that I'm alive and all, I definitely will. But if I don't, I fly back in the 7th of August. I'm gonna remember how it was windy today and humid, and when I'm in Romania and hiking the Carpathians, this is the home I'll be comparing it to.

For everyone that's been praying and encouraging me and listening to me, thank you so much! God's going to do crazy awesome things, and I can't wait to tell you about it.

1 comment:

  1. I hope you have a great time in Romania. And I hope you feel well enough to get something accomplished. Be safe and have fun and take pics! I WANT TO SEE PICS!